oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
