So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
