I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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