Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize