At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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