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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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