Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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