Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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