I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
