I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
