how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
