i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i will never coherently bang her
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
