Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
