I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
