at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
