she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
