so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
