if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
