spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
