Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize