I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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