It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
