whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize