conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
