You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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