Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
