i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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