So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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