Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
