mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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