capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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