Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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