Farmville is her only friend.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
