mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
