my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
