Me. At least after what I've been through.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize