that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize