If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
