ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
