i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Randomize
