And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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