i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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