i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
