I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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