I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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