Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
