I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
