He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize