My brain says no but my pants say off.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
