I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
