it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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