do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
