Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize