im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
