I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
