Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
