I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize