FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
