Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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