I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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