and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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