RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
