just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
