what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
