I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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