I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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