We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
